One of my sister-in-laws (who has a for real gift-wrapping cupboard) usually has all the presents on her list checked off sometime mid August. Honest to god. I've seen her list and her cupboard. It's awe-inspiring and makes me just a wee bit envious. Ironically, I totally suck at gift wrapping, which means stuff goes into bags or gets wrapped by Kevin. But, hey, why couldn't I have an entire gift bag cupboard? I used to have a gift bag drawer way back when but it got nixed/destroyed/thrown out after one of our many moves.
Despite my best efforts, some kid's birthday is announced about 25 minutes before the actual birthday party which means scrambling for a present. I often find myself driving like a mad woman to the nearest TJ Maxx for a gift or gift card. If I'm lucky, I find a gift bag/card of some sort in the check out line and it's a go. More often than not, however, I end up stuffing a gift into some random bag with a tag that says "Merry Christmas Grandma" on it, which I'm ripping off the bag as my kid is exiting the car on the way to the party. It's way too freakin stressful and it's at those exact moments I curse the gods who have not given me the "organized mommy" gene. Damn you, organizing gods! I want a gift bag shelf or rack or yes, even drawer.
This year AFTER Christmas, I will go to a big box store and buy extra gift bags, tissue paper (you can NEVER have enough of this stuff) and cards. Every now and then I hit an especially inspiring moment and buy a handful of tasteful, not too offending birthday cards for such emergencies. They ALWAYS get used. Right now, unfortunately, the only birthday card I have in my emergency drawer has a photo of a scary looking dad with a creepy clown face wearing a "Hugs not Drugs" tee, holding a crying baby. Inside it says "Congratulations. You're officially one year closer to losing it". Not the tamest card, for the majority of the population. So, there it remains, hidden away for that certain person with that certain "je ne sais croix". (forgive me, french friends for butchering your beautiful language)
This week we celebrated Thanksgiving with Kevin's parents and a group of close friends. My ex sister-in-law was also in town with her partner and they came as well. It was a bit strange introducing her as my sister-in-law and her partner. My one neighbor looked at me like "huh?" If she was my sister-in-law, didn't that make the man she was with my brother? Yeah, no. I did a little bit of 'splainin. One of those "Awkward family photos" cards would be good at that precise moment.
Anyhow, we had discussed and agreed upon a menu a few days ahead of the date but that didn't mean there weren't a couple of last minute runs to the grocery. Those go without saying. I wanted to have some colorful mums and pumpkins lining the porch but had to settle for my son's toy shotgun and watering can. I wanted to set the table with clever turkey ornaments and colorful napkins but settled for a Christmas table cloth and paper dinner napkins (which I had to run to the store for 2 hours before dinner time). Had I been more prepared, I coulda been a Martha Stewart contender.
Now the turkey leftovers have been gobbled up and guest linens washed. I should have a few weeks reprieve; but, I don't. This week alone I have a massive work presentation, a birthday, a major anniversary and the looming deadline of ordering our family Christmas cards. Oh, and two dentist appointments, my book club meeting and a school seminar. Yeah, me. I don't want to sound all whiny and pitiful, but I am a little overwhelmed.
On the positive side, I have already bought a Christmas tree, some gifts for the family and tentatively booked a girls night out for my birthday. With my husband's hours drying up quickly, I am in no place to ask him to take off work for my birthday or anniversary. We can always go get a drink somewhere afterwards. So, I guess I'm in relatively good shape. Yes, I'd like to have all my gifts bought, cards in the mail and Christmas baking done. If I get all my long distance gifts mailed by December 15, I'll feel good.
Next year, however, is another story. As god as my witness; as god as my witness, if I have to lie, cheat, steal or maim; as god as my witness, me, nor any of my kin will ever go unprepared for the holidays again!
