Sweet 16 - Then and Now

Today, my darling daughter, my first born baby, turns sweet 16. I'm happy for her and excited about her journey through high school and teenage life. My husband on the other hand, is sad. Really, he's sad. I guess he doesn't want to see her grow up. I think he's afraid she'll be leaving us soon. I'll be sad when she does fly the coop but, I'm not sad. Is that weird? Parenting is a strange but wonderful trip. Sometimes it is ridiculously joyful and then unbelievably frustrating...in the span of a few minutes. I love it when both my kids are in on the same joke and laughing together. How does that turn into an insult-fest, tattling mess in mere minutes? I dunno. I'm grateful for the times when our family is together and having a good time, or laughing at something ridiculous. Often that means the joke is on me or my husband, but we'll gladly take it. I'm thinking back to my own 16th birthday. It was a small affair at home, with my best friend and high school sweetheart in attendance. My mom bought a chocolate cake and surprised me with a beautiful pearl ring. I was flabbergasted. Money was tight, to say the least, and I wasn't expecting something so extravagant. It meant so much for many reasons. Beyond it being a special keepsake, it was a bit of a showpiece, something I had not much experience with. Despite my vocal objection to "keeping up with the Jones", or the teenage version of it, I was still desperate to belong and having lovely things helped. My friends didn't care about my things as much as I did. My daughter suffers a bit of this too so, I get it when my daughter struggles with worrying about appearing too hoochie, too tough, too young, too anything. On the other hand, I embraced the school environment I was in that not only allowed for individuality, but encouraged it and so took to my father's closet for inspiration. For a second, fedora hats became a signature of mine. Do I wish my daughter had the where-with-all to dress with more flair? I do. But, she just isn't comfortable going there. We wanted to give our daughter a big splashy party but she'd have none of that. She started off asking for a trip to France (wouldn't we all like one!) and then realized it might be a pipe dream. Her other choices included an iPad, a Macbook, a Galaxy something or other...she has good taste. If you can't have a splashy part you should ask for a splashy gift, right? At least hers are functional and can help her with school. The best part of buying our daughter anything tech related is that she can assemble, upload, connect and run just about anything. In fact, I sometimes loan her out. Seriously. Instruction manuals? She doesn't need them. Common sense and a fearless attitude are all it takes. I don't have any of that. Just the thought of having to set up another streaming anything which connects to any other current device we own sends shivers down my spine. I have gone days and days without Netflix because I can't figure out the solution. In the end, she fixed it. Anytime our internet isn't working, I ask our techie daughter to take a stab at fixing it. Nine times out of ten it works! Why can't I master these tasks? I'm not sure if it is fear exactly, but I know it results in shaking, sweat and exasperation. I know, that could describe a few other things... Besides being fearless, I love that my daughter has spunk and swagger as the kids say today. She has moxie but she's not overly precocious or at all obnoxious. She is sweet (mostly) and funny (always) and deeply sensitive. Sometimes I forget that, especially when she digs in her heels and refuses to surrender to my temper, her brother's annoying chatter and her father's occasional "no". She inherited my scowl, something I secretly adore but try not to acknowledge. She inherited her aversion to loud parenting, something I am guilty of and suffered with myself. But, she's definitely her own person and I love, love, love who she is. So, her 16th birthday comes not with sadness for me, but with joy and anticipation. Happy sweet 16, Cyre!