Long time, no see

Yeah. Another year or so has passed since I last posted here. Where does the time go? I'm kidding. I know where it went. Work, family, grad school, dancing, friends...how did I manage to do this again? I think blogging is like working out. Once you get off the treadmill, it's hard to get back on. Now that I'm temporarily unemployed and just working on my Masters, I plan to devote more time to personal expression. I want to paint (don't worry; walls, not canvas), write, organize cupboards and baskets, plant flowers, read great masterpieces and nest. Taking the time to create is so important for many reasons, beyond the obvious. It's time for me to refuel and cliche as it sounds, fill the void I feel inside. This summer has been beyond eventful. Our family traveled to PEI and reconnected with friends and family there. We spent some time (and cash. Ouch.) on our summer cottage and fell in love with it all over again. It wasn't quite enough time there to quench my thirst for the simplicity and sweetness of the island, but it was a taste. That taste is a huge motivator to go back again next year and experience more. Returning home should have made room for review, reflection and rejuvenation. But, me being me, I invited the world to come visit and visit they did. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE having friends come stay with us. But, nearly four weeks in a row was too much. It put a strain on my relationships and I didn't realize it until it was almost over. Next time I will learn to stagger them so as to give our family some breathing room. Adding to that strain is the stress of unemployment. Letting go of the guilt/shame of not working has been an enormous struggle. My devoted and darling husband has given me permission to "take a break" and do some nesting. It's my own stuff that keeps getting in the way. Some of it is pride. Much of it is simple awkwardness/discomfort of being dependent on someone else. Letting go is a work in progress. The bright side of having more time to write is the unburdening that results in expressing myself. A blog, much like a journal, is a place for honesty. Saying painful/hurtful/joyous things out loud is liberating and terrifying. And, absolutely necessary in my case. Here's to more time spent working on my Full Circle.

Find Your Joy! This year I've decided it's time for me to dedicate some time to myself in pursuit of things that bring me joy. Be it they might be considered silly, weird, nerdy and downright uncool by some (mainly, my children)I have jumped in full force and am embracing joy. It's good for the soul, the psyche, the mind, the body and sometimes the skin too. Though it's not as recent as just this year, my participation in my book club has ramped up. I love nothing more than getting together with a group of smart, witty, wild women to drink wine, swap war stories, battle scars and yes, even talk about books. These discussions bring me great joy, in a way that community can. I don't see them but once a month, other than the occasional running into one another at the grocery or the local coffee shop. I've hosted the book club, recommended reading materials and gone to almost every one the meetings. Like most women, I love to have someone rub, scrape, massage and paint my toes. Regular trips to the nail salon are a must. An hour or two alone with a bunch of cheesy magazines that I love reading but can never bring myself to buy in public, is also part of what gives me joy. Great joy. Hair appointments, waxing appointments (yes, in some weird way they too are part of the joy equation) also contribute to joy. Good grooming really can bring joy. If you don't believe me, try it. Meow. Committing myself to working out and attending fitness classes doesn't really bring me joy when I'm actually working out, but afterwards I feel joy. Doing something healthy that nets some noticeable results is joyful. It is. My greatest joy this year, however, involves lots of sequence, a red wig and disco music. Recently I joined a dance group called The Disco Amigos. Though the thought of their mother dancing in public makes my family cringe, it is something my kids are learning to accept; my friends don't necessarily want to join me, but they get it. Dancing with others who aren't afraid to admit they love disco is joyful in itself. Dancing is something that has always given me joy. I'm having a wonderful, joyful life. Go ahead and find your joy. Life is so much better when you do.

Quit Braggin!

I'm not much of a braggart when it comes to my own accomplishments, mostly because I don't think I have that many. I am willing to shamelessly brag on how smart, weird and funny my kids are and how talented, kind and wonderful my husband is. However, when I do something well (especially if it's a surprise) I have to force myself to share my good news. So, here goes. I've been asked not once, but twice, to give presentations to different groups about web stuff. Me. The late-to-the-ball, non techie, Luddite.

Believe me, being web savvy is not second nature. I've come to learn just enough to get myself in trouble and invited to do a seminar. I remember taking a "computers 101" course at a local high school with mostly new immigrants back in the late 80s. My former roommate was conducting the seminar so I should have felt comfortable. But I didn't. I remember the trauma of switching from typewriters to computers at Journalism school and I was freaked out. I was convinced I was never going to land a job.

I once was offered a job which was advertised as having strong knowledge of advertising and publishing. Check and check. By that time, I'd been in ad sales for about five years and two of them were in publishing. What I didn't know was this job a) involved tons of flying (I HATE airplanes)and b) was completely digital. I would have to create and execute PowerPoint presentations to publishers in the U.S., about a product that used to include hard copies, but was now all online. First of all, I'd never, ever opened PowerPoint once in my life and second of all, I ONLY knew had to email. For reals.

I'm good at sales and was able to sell my many other fine points during the interview (I had a family to feed) and told myself I'd learn on the job. By day two on the gig, and I'm not even kidding, I knew I was in WAY over my head and went straight to the boss. And, told him so. Despite being the only one with a job at that time, I was willing to give it up and look for something else that would be a fit. My boss desperately wanted a woman in the department and convinced me I'd have all the training I needed and would be wonderful at the job. Needless to say, I lasted about a year and a half before I was on medication for depression and ready to take an admin position or work at a restaurant again, just to get out of it. Thankfully, I found a wonderful position with another magazine.

Fast forward several years and I'm in another country looking for work. By this time I had done a good job of getting my writing portfolio together, with national newspapers and magazine stories under my belt. I found a position as a web editor and thought I should apply since I write and had been keeping up with my blog (WelcometoCharlotte-meg.blogspot.com). I figured I might have a decent shot at it, though I was well aware that I wasn't necessarily much of a web person and I don't love to edit. Regardless, I would be writing every day and it was a job in my field. The editor liked my writing and said I'd be able to learn the web program as I went. Where had I heard that before?

This time, I did learn on the job. A lot. I got familiar with all kinds of software, online publishing programs and yes, even PowerPoint. Best of all, I had earned some confidence when it came to my abilities as both a writer AND a techie. Did I love having to edit and fix web problems? No. But, I learned a very valuable lesson which I've carried with me everywhere I've been since. Make IT guys (let's be real; they're 99% guys) your friend. They are almost always nerdy, hilarious, sarcastic and very very smart.

I digress. Let's fast forward another year and I'm back in New Orleans, at another job as a media specialist, requiring me to create a brand new, semi custom website. At my previous job, we had gone through a website re design so I knew I could do this job...with help from a team of programmers from India. I'm no programmer, but I do know some basic html and CSS. Plus, I had a "Dummies" book so how hard could it be? I severely underestimated the challenges of working with a team of guys with heavy accents on a different time zone. Wow.

In this position, I probably learned the most. I am now very comfortable PowerPoint and even discovered some other programs that work with it and create even more spectacular presentations. I have learned more code and another new software program. Do I know how to edit photos, audio and video clips? Check. Am I a social media maniac? Yup. Can I create web pages on my own? Check.

I'm now at another University as web content editor and loving it. I'm responsible for social media and am killin it. Our followers, fans, likes etc are increasing 10 fold. I create pages, menus, write stories, take meetings, make suggestions...I love it. I guess the enthusiasm is paying off because I've been asked to conduct a "how to use social media for your business" seminar as well as a "create great presentations with SlideRocket" one too.

I'm not quite ready for either one, though I could get the social media one together rather quickly. As for the latter, it's a bit terrifying to consider but so very flattering to be asked. Whether I do it or not, the point is, I've been asked. I've got some skills and others recognize them. So, I'm braggin.

No Time Like the Present

Every year I make the same boring, lame-ass resolutions to lose weight, be nicer to my kids, curb my road rage and expand my vocabulary that most of us do. Though all of these endeavors would make me a nicer, calmer person, truth is they are flaws that are most likely never going to be fixed. Yes, not cussing in the car with my kids would make me a better parent. Losing weight would boost my self-confidence. Learning new ways to describe things would be very pleasing. But really, "Meh" is what I think of these. And so, I don't ever lose any sleep over the fact that I haven't kept them longer than a couple of days.

However, there is one resolution that came to me via epiphany. I think I may have actually heard some angels singing "ahhhh" when I decided to embrace it; I am going to do whatever task pops into my brain at that present time. How does it work? I remember (while brushing my teeth, one of the most mundane tasks possible) that I need to take a certain paper to work. With toothbrush clenched between my teeth, I walk over to the desk, pick up the paper and put it in my work bag. Right then and there. Here goes another one - I'm working on a document for tomorrow's meeting at work and suddenly it dawns on me that I forgot to send photos to a co-worker. I minimize my document, open outlook, create a new email, attach said photos and hit send. Boom. Mission accomplished.

Some people would say that this particular method is for those with ADD; or maybe it won't allow you to get anything done at all. I'm here to say "Can I get a witness?" I get shit done. More shit. Yes, it's a bit helter skelter, frazzled and lacking in any real rhythm. Know what? I don't care. I get shit done.

I have remembered to send letters, post mail, keep up on reports and keep my life fairly organized. I'm doing less planning and more spontaneous acting. On my day off this week I got groceries, a pedicure, posted a letter, walked the dog, paid a bill and did two loads of laundry before lunch. I just went with the task at hand. I was going to the grocery and thought "My toes are disgusting. I'm going to see if the nail salon is open." I made a quick detour and voila, it worked. I still got home at my set designated time AND I threw in a pedicure. I just had to hustle a little at the grocery store.

Today it's January 19 and I've kept my resolution. That's got to be a record on its own. I love my resolution and I plan on keeping it for a while. Or at least until January 2013.

What Gets You Up in the Morning

I get cold feet. If they're ice cold, I cannot sleep. If I cannot sleep, I have to get up and put on socks, warm them in front of the fireplace, take a bath or wrap them up. That's just one of the reasons I get out of bed. There are many others, such as bright light shining on my face, incessant dog barking and my least favorite reason, the rowdy neighbors next door.

We all have our reasons for getting out of bed, with the most common one being because the alarm goes off. I get out of bed for that too. But it's never voluntary. You know those commercials for coffee, or sleep aids or crescent rolls where the people wake up with a giant stretch and a big smile? Yeah. Who are those freakin weirdos? I'd like to once, just once, see someone I know get up in the morning like that.

Christmas is just around the corner, which is one of the very best reasons to get up in the morning. Even when December 25 rolls around, I still slide out of bed with only one eye open (whichever one isn't closed shut with eye goop). The kids may jump on the bed with excitement and shriek with delight, but that doesn't mean I share their immediate enthusiasm. Yes, I'm happy to be up and excited about presents but the truth is, I've likely stayed up the night before wrapping presents until some ungodly hour with duct tape, chewing gum and glue. It probably doesn't help that I've most likely had a few too many glasses of cheer, which often puts a damper on enthusiasm (or anything that requires loud noises). But, Christmas does get me up in the morning.

The holiday season is also almost here which SHOULD mean lots of extra sleep and NOT having to get up in the morning. But like so many other painful Murphy's Laws, I almost never sleep in on holidays. There's always an unexpected knock at the door, or the kids are especially rangy given the fact that there's no school, or someone in the house has run out of toilet paper and is calling my name. In those instances I hearken the spirit of my dead mother and say "I've changed my name!" which was often her retort.

This week I have a day off of work (it's the one day between jobs) and I won't have to get up in the morning. But, I just might. I hope to spend the day visiting cool shops, taking a leisurely lunch with friends and wrapping gifts. Part of me hopes I don't get up and nap until noon. Part of me wishes I could rise out of bed with a big ass smile on my face and hit the mall at warp speed. I doubt it will happen though cause I'll probably get cold feet.

The Season is Upon Me...

I love the holidays. They come racing through my home and my life without much fanfare and are gone before I can catch my breath. Know what I'm talking about? I wish I could say "This year I'm going to be prepared" with absolute certainty. But, I cannot. I'm more prepared, but still not completely ready for them. Who are those people who have their pumpkin pies baked weeks ahead, their Christmas decorations hung in November and all their gifts wrapped by September? I'd like to be one of them; just once.

One of my sister-in-laws (who has a for real gift-wrapping cupboard) usually has all the presents on her list checked off sometime mid August. Honest to god. I've seen her list and her cupboard. It's awe-inspiring and makes me just a wee bit envious. Ironically, I totally suck at gift wrapping, which means stuff goes into bags or gets wrapped by Kevin. But, hey, why couldn't I have an entire gift bag cupboard? I used to have a gift bag drawer way back when but it got nixed/destroyed/thrown out after one of our many moves.

Despite my best efforts, some kid's birthday is announced about 25 minutes before the actual birthday party which means scrambling for a present. I often find myself driving like a mad woman to the nearest TJ Maxx for a gift or gift card. If I'm lucky, I find a gift bag/card of some sort in the check out line and it's a go. More often than not, however, I end up stuffing a gift into some random bag with a tag that says "Merry Christmas Grandma" on it, which I'm ripping off the bag as my kid is exiting the car on the way to the party. It's way too freakin stressful and it's at those exact moments I curse the gods who have not given me the "organized mommy" gene. Damn you, organizing gods! I want a gift bag shelf or rack or yes, even drawer.

This year AFTER Christmas, I will go to a big box store and buy extra gift bags, tissue paper (you can NEVER have enough of this stuff) and cards. Every now and then I hit an especially inspiring moment and buy a handful of tasteful, not too offending birthday cards for such emergencies. They ALWAYS get used. Right now, unfortunately, the only birthday card I have in my emergency drawer has a photo of a scary looking dad with a creepy clown face wearing a "Hugs not Drugs" tee, holding a crying baby. Inside it says "Congratulations. You're officially one year closer to losing it". Not the tamest card, for the majority of the population. So, there it remains, hidden away for that certain person with that certain "je ne sais croix". (forgive me, french friends for butchering your beautiful language)

This week we celebrated Thanksgiving with Kevin's parents and a group of close friends. My ex sister-in-law was also in town with her partner and they came as well. It was a bit strange introducing her as my sister-in-law and her partner. My one neighbor looked at me like "huh?" If she was my sister-in-law, didn't that make the man she was with my brother? Yeah, no. I did a little bit of 'splainin. One of those "Awkward family photos" cards would be good at that precise moment.

Anyhow, we had discussed and agreed upon a menu a few days ahead of the date but that didn't mean there weren't a couple of last minute runs to the grocery. Those go without saying. I wanted to have some colorful mums and pumpkins lining the porch but had to settle for my son's toy shotgun and watering can. I wanted to set the table with clever turkey ornaments and colorful napkins but settled for a Christmas table cloth and paper dinner napkins (which I had to run to the store for 2 hours before dinner time). Had I been more prepared, I coulda been a Martha Stewart contender.

Now the turkey leftovers have been gobbled up and guest linens washed. I should have a few weeks reprieve; but, I don't. This week alone I have a massive work presentation, a birthday, a major anniversary and the looming deadline of ordering our family Christmas cards. Oh, and two dentist appointments, my book club meeting and a school seminar. Yeah, me. I don't want to sound all whiny and pitiful, but I am a little overwhelmed.

On the positive side, I have already bought a Christmas tree, some gifts for the family and tentatively booked a girls night out for my birthday. With my husband's hours drying up quickly, I am in no place to ask him to take off work for my birthday or anniversary. We can always go get a drink somewhere afterwards. So, I guess I'm in relatively good shape. Yes, I'd like to have all my gifts bought, cards in the mail and Christmas baking done. If I get all my long distance gifts mailed by December 15, I'll feel good.

Next year, however, is another story. As god as my witness; as god as my witness, if I have to lie, cheat, steal or maim; as god as my witness, me, nor any of my kin will ever go unprepared for the holidays again!

It's Your Thang...Do Whatcha Wanna Do

Finding out what your "thang" is sounds much easier than it is. Sometimes what we identify as ours is left over from our childhood and no longer applies. Often times we take on others' thang such as a parent or aunt or ex-boyfriend, and hang onto it for sentimental reasons.Or maybe even just mental reasons...I didn't really love collecting spoons but my mother gave me one or two, as did my aunt and my boyfriend's grandma. Next thing you know, I apparently love spoons. Do I still own them? Nope. But they did come in handy in a real pinch for my future roommate who needed them to put her contacts in overnight. I'm not 100% sure they weren't used as some sort of drug paraphernalia at one time either. Sorry, mom.

My first year living on my own was a "thang" free for all. I suddenly was collecting "Gone with the Wind" plates, posters and figurines. I missed out on "Madeleine" so now wanted every doll, cereal bowl every made. Was I revisiting my childhood? On some level, yes. I discovered I loved the simple music and message of Stompin Tom Connors who of course, had a connection to my childhood as well. Suddenly, I was his biggest fan. I had Tom birthday parties, a handmade Tom t-shirt, attended Tom concerts...another collection from Firestone Road, my family home.

The first apartment I shared with a man was all about collecting mid century furniture. We scoured flea markets, auctions and antique stores. We amassed gorgeous pieces, though they were without any real pedigree. They were pretty. I loved my playing in my pretty house. But, I grew up and grew apart and moved on to a new phase in my life.

And that my friends, is why our "thang" changes. We move on and what we love, are passionate about or find fascinating changes too. Think about it. Ever had a hobby that sort of burns out with time? You know, you've taken up knitting with the intent of making everyone you know a beanie cap, a pair of slippers or a tea cosy? Two caps in and you start to think of other things to do while watching tv or convince yourself there's nothing good on at all. That's fairly normal.

But there's a difference between a hobby and a passion. Hobbies can be left alone for weeks on end. Passions may not always be acted upon, but the fire never stops burning. I've had a few hobbies in my time. Salsa dancing, swing dancing. Today, it's zumba. But my passion for politics and change has never burned out. I've volunteered for some candidates, cursed others...I read political columns on a regular basis. My need to do something to contribute to change is always burning in the background.

Since moving to NOLA I've decided that I can work to make change by allowing others to speak their mind and share their ideas on how to make the city better. I created a discussion forum for New Orleanians to talk about their passions. So far, it's been a positive experience but I'm ready to kick it up a notch. I want more speakers, more forums, more discussions.

So, here's a shameless plug. If you have something you are burning about or something burns your ass, think about sharing that with a wider audience of other passionate persons. Sign up for a Point 8 NOLA forum. Contact me and we'll put it together. But, if it has anything to do with little spoons from Little Rock or Spokane, count me out.